fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
