I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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