BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
and you fell through a lawn chair
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
