Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize