my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm having to shit out rocks
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
