Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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