things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
