My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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