I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
