the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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