He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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