Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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