? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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