That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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