I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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