The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
