Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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