areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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