He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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