their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
