Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
