I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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