Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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