took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
