He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
