I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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