he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
