I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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