Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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