just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I bet he comes in French.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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