I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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