Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
