hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
