chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
