I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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