Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're my little dorito
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
