im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
