; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
