he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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