accomplished twins. life is a go
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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