just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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