Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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