Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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