Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize