hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
