i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
