you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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