I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize