Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
