i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
