went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
