When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize