I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
