I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
