I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
