yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i permit you to call me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
