If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
