Got a toothbrush?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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