but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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