girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
