so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You left your phone here
Wait...
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