Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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