Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
