now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
