Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize