I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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