I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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