I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
