Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
